Dear my friends,

Diamond-dust has been a part of my life since its 'virgin post' in May 2003. It was a way of which I could simply keep in touch with my mind, my heart (& my fingers?)

It was my way of entertaining u, when I physically wasn't there.

I felt it was one of the ways that would make up my physical absence in anyone's lives, that they could still be engaged in their minds by my works & thoughts.

I hope I managed. Diamond-dust has seen alot of support, kindest comments & nicest gestures to spur me on to update. My pc died on me & I had been very busy over a period of time. For friends who stuck on & returned to try ur luck even though it's quite impossible to see any movement, thank u very much! Heh. I'm back finally, & hopefully better than ever despite being so rusty already..

A brief update on what IÂ?m up to during my period of disappearance. Life has been largely about work & little of play, but the play had been great :) Birthday celebrations, zouk out, crazy gurl's night out completed with a few new dates (Teeheehee). Yea.. It has truly been enjoyable.

However of cos these few months wasn't just about a bed of roses, there are moments I thought I forgot what the word 'excel' meant when I begin to see difficulties at work. "Jack of all trades, master of none."...Must be the reason why nothing goes my way. Absolutely nothing! They slip, they fall away, they just never come into my arms! Grrr. I was god-damn upset at that time, cuz I had always thought that I can be capable of anything as long as IÂ?m ambitious & confident enough. So to sum up my points, would ambitions alone be of any use? Would hope alone be of any use?

I guess not.

I remember once, some time back, when I was still in primary school, my teacher asked the class what we would want to be when we grow up. We all had big dreams in our lives then, as usual, there would be a share of lawyers, doctors & engineers. There would also be some that would want to be pilots, sailors and soldiers. And what we had to do was to put a picture of what we wanted to be in a frame on our desk.

Funny things we did.

Rarely would u get some that would have chosen the route of a office lady (like what I am now), social worker, or nurse. I remember a classic incident where I had a friend who wanted to be a taxi driver. This friend of mine, was particularly lazy, & was too lazy to find a nice picture of what he wanted to be; so conveniently, the taxi driver's picture was somewhere within reach, thus pasted.

& Everyone laughed. Including the (fucked up) teacher.
I'm sorry if I freaked out anyone for being being so vulgar, but everyone who knows me well enough know that I never liked teachers in the whole of my 21 years... (Explanation not required.)

Anyways, it was that very day I realised how ambitions have to be engineered for the acceptance of society as one that is successful. The result derived upon presentation of the picture of the taxi driver rings in my mind til today.

If my classmate really wanted to be a taxi driver, I see no fault in it. There are many children in Singapore who's rice on their dining table is brought home by a taxi driver daddy. There are many university graduates who's tuition fee was paid for with a taxi driver's pay.

It only saddened me that we have reached a point where ambitions can never be realised if our mindsets are not broken, to realise that if anyone dreams of being a taxi driver, let him be, but encourage him to be the best taxi driver in town.

If someone's dreams were to be a toilet cleaner, give him or her a chance to be the best toilet cleaner in Singapore; Even the Environment Minister visits toilets as part of his job, to see if it is clean or not!

All that is needed is that little bit of encouragement to bind ambition & hope into one cuz either one of them would never make it without the latter.

Wheeeet! To be able to churn out a long passage of thoughts like this, am I finally a big gurl already or what? LoLs.