I had a bad day. Or rather, I'm having a bad day.
The day hasn't ended yet.

They don't understand what I'm pissed over. All I ask of my sis is a simple chore to bring back a bottle of eye wash from the pharmacy when she goes out. I emphasized, Optrex for my freaking sore eyes & she nodded impatiently apparently showing that she’s already got my point & that I’m being a nag for repeating so many times. Guess what she brings back in the end?

Amo moisture complete for contact lenses.

I blew my top immediately. Not because of petty reasons like she didn’t get me the much needed eye wash. I was this uber pissed because she wasn’t paying attention to what I said earlier! & to top it all off, it’s not her blardy first time making stupid mistakes like this. My point here is clear, I don’t mind if my sis freaking play deaf to what I say, I really won’t mind at that moment. Just make sure she got the instructed task 100% right or watch it.

& Mummy.
She sided my sis when I made her get down to 7-eleven to buy me the bloody eye wash, & nagged at me like there’s no tomorrow. She doesn’t even put herself in my shoe & try to understand who I did all these for. If it’s not for my sister’s own good I would have just fark care & let her be a nonchalant stupid 18 years-old. Everyone looks stupid when they have problem carrying out tasks. I know she’s not stupid that’s why I don’t like her to appear like that infront of other people. Mummy doesn’t see how what I did will also benefit herself. How this will put an end to her endless complains to me that my sis has short attention span. She just doesn’t seem to understand I’m being this stern, this fierce, this ‘unreasonable’ not for my sake.

When everything ends up in screaming, words exchanged become hurtful. She thought I’m just being petty about the money spent & the absent eye wash. Then I added that I don’t freaking need anyone to care about what happen to my eyes. I meant, she don’t even know I’m having fever too. What’s the point? But I know I’ve hurt her. Damn.

I don’t want any eye wash or paracetamol now. All I want is peace.


-End-

I find it hard to talk about this. Firstly, I want to tell everyone that I’m not feeling sad or down. I don’t want my blog to be depressing. Lighter moments are easier to digest. Heavier ones are learning experience.

Infact, I can proudly say in those madness of dealing with a not-so-serious-but-not-mild-either illness I am generally happy. Everything was good except for the health only anyway. I'm happy cause I am not going to allow all these to run my emotions for me.

Well, recently I realized something freaking. I’m literally falling sick all the time. In all of two months, I’ve already gotten sore throat (leading to temporary voiceless-ness), chicken pox, fainting spells, fever, flu, & today, fever again tagged team with sore eyes. Cough is for ever & a day. It never seems to show signs of recovery ever since the sore throat. To put it simply, there have seldom been days when I felt totally okay. I know I always have weaker ability to fight infections due to the illness. However, that was the past. Or so I thought? So isn’t my situation too much of a hardcore now?

There’s gotta be a reason why I’m more feeble than before ain’t it?

I don’t want it to come back. It wasn’t very miserable having to deal with it but still, I want to be healthy. Really healthy. Not missing netball trainings again like today.

For this I’ve decided to see a doctor again. It could be a relapse so the doctor says, but all in all, I’ll still gotta wait til Sunday to find out. Is it the result of indulging in too much booze? I don't know. & sometimes I wish I can just fuck care just like others too. All I know is, I haven't been a good gurl who's taking care of myself.

This is darn sudden. & Because this is sudden, it has gotta take an internal bleeding in the stomach to cause this sudden relapse. I hope it’s not. I’m a little freaked out frankly. How should I break it to mum if it turns out to be not too good a news?

If I'm fine. I swear I'm gonna limit myself to an occasional drink.

Darn.
I’ll try my best to not put up such disappointing notice again.