7th Oct 05, Friday

It was scientifically proven that when someone’s dreaming, her mind wasn’t at its totally relaxed state. Therefore, if she had a continuous array of dreams throughout her entire slumber time, she’ll prolly wake up feeling as drained as before she slept.

How true.

Well, I was pretty much convinced by è ultimately restless sleep I had last night. I reckoned it might be courtesy of Khas. Somehow my gut feeling told me he really enjoys è sadistic act of disrupting people’s motivation to cultivate è sleeping mood. Fancy making me laugh so hard before my bedtime. Here’s tit for tat:




Don’t my khassie baby look hawwwt?
Lol.

Nonsense aside, I’ve gotta wake up really early today to meet è swordies for lunch. Being shagged-out is è last thing I wanted, though yawns, sad to say I’m really sleepy now. Leaves me pondering how am I gonna stay out til è wee.

I think I was mentally tormented by more than five dreams last night, though vividly I can only remember feeling darn exhausted from one nightmare. It was a bizarre mixture of è most impossible people at è most impossible circumstances. I can’t help but to feel really ridiculous. Hear me out & u’ll get what I mean!

I dreamt I was uber reluctant to let a friend of mine go for his army field trip thingy. Guess what I did? I swapped his barang barang with something else hoping he’ll withdraw from that trip. He prolly has absolutely no idea of what I’ve done & left for that trip anyway. It however turns out that I’ve just stolen something of ultimate importance dreadfully needed for survival over at his side. Yep anyways, I freaked out in that dream of course & being a good-natured gurl (lol), I’ve decided to look him up at his campsite to return those stuffs. I got there in a jiffy (it’s a dream, com’ on), but someone told me he was dead! *SCREAMS*

Whoa what else can I feel other then guilt? His stuffs were darn heavy it made me wonder where did I get è strength to swap them in the first place. I was sobbing for è entire journey home by the way. This was where è exhausting part slotted in. However hard I tried to pick up my pace, I’ll either end up with a pair of 100kg legs or I’m not moving as fast as my legs should carry me. I’m sure most of u had one such experience or two in dreams. No need for further elaborations I suppose?

As much as I wish, that’s not è end.

I reached home finally, still feeling tremendously remorseful, when someone told me that friend of mine wasn’t dead & he’s back home! Glad as I am, he was still critically injured he got to quarantine himself from è rest of us… Hah, didn’t know injuries are infectious enough to worth the quarantining. Anyways, as much as it leaves me pondering so much, dreams are still dreams; they can be as outrageous as they can be without an explaination don't u agree?

So ahead I went to è door of his room trying to persuade him to open up, as I’m really sincere about apologizing.

Dammit.

Apparently he ain’t really keen in hearing apologies & demanded me to just leave his stuff outside his door & get lost. I did as I was told but I camped outside his door just to see if he will show his face. Just then, & horrors of horrors; he actually opened è door slightly & reached out for his stuffs with a blood stained hand! U guys must be thinking I must be really gung-ho in that dream & barged in without second thoughts to rescue him right? Hell no!

I was such a bitch in that dream; I actually freaked out so much I ran away from him!

Admittedly, I’m not quite okay when it comes to bloody situations in real life but there’s no way I’ll leave anyone dying like that. & I meant anyone! Can’t help it but to feel kinda disgusted with myself in that dream.

I was sobbing so hard for that entire nightmare, I woke up choking on a tearless sob, which I managed to swallow it back into me after realizing everything wasn’t real. Mummy actually opened my door to check on me at around 5am, guess that was why the part that my friend opened the door with his bloody hands came about. It must be è clanking noise my mummy made with my door knob darn it! More often than not, I really hate being sucha light sleeper, but I’m glad I was woken up this time round.

Cuz I’m in the point of fact, rather frightened.
Can u believe that?

Ney. No one will ever understand how silly I felt sobbing in a, a, what? Nightmare?! Isn’t that something that’ll only happen to a nine-year-old? Perhaps I wasn’t really a guilt-proof person as I claimed myself to be. That plainly means no more evil doings in the future.

Amen.